- Disregard for right and wrong
- Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
- Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or for sheer personal pleasure
- Intense egocentrism, sense of superiority and exhibitionism
- Recurring difficulties with the law
- Repeatedly violating the rights of others by the use of intimidation, dishonesty and misrepresentation
- Child abuse or neglect
- Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, impulsiveness, aggression or violence
- Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
- Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behaviors
- Poor or abusive relationships
- Irresponsible work behavior
- Failure to learn from the negative consequences of behavior
Understand that the way this person acts toward you is not your fault. You may care about this person and feel the desire to keep them happy, but they don’t care. Again, they don’t care. It sucks, but you have to give up. This person will never care about anything but his or herself or his or her own personal gain.
This is the kind of person who insults you (“you are useless! I am so much more important than you! I will ruin you in this town!”) until you feel suicidal and try to jump off the roof. Afterward, he blames you for the fact that you are both locked out of the apartment. He will insult you until he decides it’s time to call an ambulance because you are suicidal. You will decide to walk there because an ambulance is a lot of trouble and you’re willing to take yourself, but you have to beg him to walk with you. On the walk it begins to rain and he complains about it, bitching about how he’ll have to walk back in it, meanwhile you are shoeless and the ground is cold and wet, which he does not notice. He also spends the walk continuing to insult you (I’m only doing this because you are another human being, not because I care about you or love you AT ALL). When you finally get to the emergency room, he pretends to be friendly with you until a nurse calls your name. Convinced that you are useless and suicidal, you check yourself into an inpatient psych ward for five days. He calls once during your stay (on day three) to see if he can move your car out of in front of “his apartment,” because he wants to get your car out of the garage space that you “share” but has actually only been occupied by your car up until this point because his broke down and he’s been using yours whenever he sees fit (and if you needed it today, well, you can take a bus).
This is the type of person who will only keep you around because you are of use to him. If you have a camera he can borrow for work, you can stick around. If you will edit for him for free, you can stick around. If you can cook and clean for him, you can stick around. If he can ride your coattails to semi-fame, you can sleep on his floor for free. If you can help him find drugs, you can stick around. If you are willing to have sex with him, you can stick around. If you have the nerve to tell him the truth, be prepared for a flurry of emotional abuse.
It is most likely that this person will never admit fault or take responsibility for the things they do because they just don’t care, and if they do appear to feel guilty about anything, I promise it is only manipulation. If you are not perfect for this person, they will feel no remorse about throwing you to the curb, even if they are “in love” with you.
So yeah, that’s my story about being in love with a sociopath.
It’s 1am so I’m sorry for the people who won’t see this. But if you want confidence and don’t know how to get it, a really good way is to be confident in other people. When you walk into Starbucks, think, “damn, that barista’s hair is da bomb!” Or when you go to school, think, “my teacher is rocking that skirt!” When you start seeing everyone as being beautiful, at some point you realize that you’re everyone too.